Mardy Roux

Archive for the ‘Updates’ Category

Restoring the Weight Loss Spirit

In Updates on August 20, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about a big box of clothes I put away in the far corner of my clothes closet only last year in about September. I had cleaned my closet out and, wanting a sense of empty space and freedom in my “life” I ruthlessly removed all the things I was just too fat to wear. Being me, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of anything other than to relegate some desperately tatty items to the rag pile in the laundry. The rest were neatly folded and placed in a large plastic storage container in case by some miracle I could ever squeeze into them. And lately, I’ve been wondering…just less than a year later and almost eight months into my MROTP, if I COULD possibly squeeze into anything in that big blue box.

When I put all those things away, it was bad enough that I was too fat to wear any of them, but what made it worse was that there were some lovely lovely things there. Lovely NEW things. Because I have a terrible secret. During these very fat years of mine I would, on occasion, have reason to be in a clothes store. When I was younger and much thinner, I used to like clothes. Of course, once buying clothes started feeling like having to drape a giant, naked ostrich egg I changed my tune, but once upon a time, I used to enjoy nice clothes. And I have owned, and still do own, some beautiful clothes, covering every size imaginable. In the last decade, with a beautiful teenage daughter to clothe, I would be forced to miserably slink into all the teenage clothing shops with their teeny weeny miniature minus-sized clothing where the average tank top looked like it would have trouble getting around my upper arm, and while there and cowering behind a rack of doll’s clothes attempting unsuccessfully to be invisible, I’d help my daughter pick out the best, most classic stuff and develop a style of her own that, at twenty, she is finding is working very well for her. While on those shopping trips, my daughter would invariably suggest we drop in to look at the “grown-up” clothes shops, hoping like crazy I expect, that her fat and dowdy mother would buy something nice for herself. And here’s my secret…I DID. Only not in my size.

There are just a few clothes shops that have the kind of clothes I adore. Comfortable, fairly informal but classic, still smart, with a smidgen of “style”. Only I stopped fitting into ANY of the sizes they stocked four or five years ago. I remember that awful day I worked up the courage to try on the largest size…XXL…and it DIDN’T FIT. I was too large for XXL. And I knew that the next time I needed to buy something, I’d have to head over to the plus size section at Walmart to find the really big stuff. I was devastated. Then I had a wonderful realization…I may not FIT the clothes in my favourite stores, but if something great was on sale, then I’d just buy the largest size they had, and maybe one day in the future I’d fit some of them! Oh yes, ever the optimist…as we must all be who have tried every diet in the book and still keep going back for more misery and failure.

I have to say that over the past few years I’ve seen some pretty terrific sales at some of those clothes stores. A few times I’ve been in and wonderful things had been reduced by amazing amounts…often beautiful tailored linen and cotton blouses and shirts reduced from $60 or $80 to as little $5. I couldn’t pass them up. I’d find something I loved and buy a range of colors (an old trick of mine), often spending $100 or $200 at a time, with each item being the largest I could get from the rack. Often that size turned out to be XL. Then I’d bring home my loot and hang it in the closet and hope that one day…one day…

Two weeks ago I was forced to go and buy a couple of new bras. The situation was getting desperate. I knew I’d lost some weight, but as we know, doing the MROTP, I don’t weigh or measure as I go along, so I can only go by “fit” and “visual”. Well, my bras were getting a bit ridiculously baggy, so I worked up the courage to confront my “size”. I took myself to a local department store and knowing that I was abandoning my 42Ds I selected a couple of 40Ds to try on. Nope. A bit baggy. Back to the racks, and grabbed a 40C…nope. Not right yet…..maybe a 38? Wow. It’s years and years since I bought a 38. So a 38D…still not quite right….back to the rack and I picked up a 38C. PERFECT!  I was AMAZED! I’ve gone from 42D to 38C! Maybe not impressive to many people, but when I bought my 42Ds I remember the 38Cs looking very small to me, and even now, as I go to put on a 38C it looks SMALL compared to what I’ve become used to these past few years. And it feels great.

Buoyed on by that little success, the big blue box upstairs in the closet, filled with brand new, never-before-worn items, mostly in XL, a size you can buy in most REGULAR non-plus-size stores, began to beckon. And yesterday I finally dug into the dark recesses of that closet and hauled it out. I pulled out a couple of lovely things that my daughter owns, a few shirts my son hardly ever wears….and there underneath those things, I saw the first potential offering. A gorgeous tailored semi-casual blouse in a quality, soft teal pure linen. I remembered buying this. I couldn’t have pulled it on around my shoulders and arms, let alone have tried buttoning it up. I think I picked it up in the early spring of last year (in a sale of the remaining stock from the summer before). The tags were still on it, and the buttons had never been undone before. I unbuttoned it and slipped it on…SLIPPED IT ON!!! It fit! Beautifully…not in any way tight…there was a little bit of space in there actually, but it’s a slightly fitted cut and it looks perfect! I nearly passed out with joy.

I reached into the box and brought out the same blouse…this time in a soft lavender linen. Another XL…another beautiful fit. And again, the same blouse in a muted fuchsia…and another perfect fit! I was like a pig in mud. NEW CLOTHES! Then I noticed an orange shirt in an impossibly fine linen, with button up three-quarter sleeves, a shirt-maker collar and in the most beautiful saffron colour ever. I distinctly remembered buying it and how tiny it looked. I had loved it instantly, and it was reduced to under $10 when I bought it. I put it on the bed. I won’t fit that one. It’s too small. My daughter came in to enjoy the commotion…”Try it on!” she said. I refused. Look at it, I said…it’s WAY too small for me. “Try it!” she insisted. I did. And I’m wearing it as I type this. It not only fits, it has a little bit of room in it!

The linen summery things were followed by a series of stunning, expensive (originally) suede shirts perfect for cool autumn days. Again, I was dubious. First the chocolate suede…a fit! In fact…if I keep losing weight it’ll be baggy on me soon. Then the baby pink suede….I can’t believe it! The baby pink suede shirt! Then the camel suede….another fit! I spotted some camel suede work trousers….now I was scared. I mean….Clearly some weight has shifted from the top, but how about the “bottom”? I had “tried on” these trousers when I was packing up the clothes back in September. I could get them just past the knees, but my thighs had been too much for them to pass over. I took a deep breath, and on they slipped. With space to spare. The button buttoned up nicely and had I been trying on this size at the store, I may even have tried a size smaller.

Out they came, a fabulous black work suit I used to wear for a short time a decade ago…I’d better get a little more wear out of it now, as it’s on the verge of being a bit too big…the same for the blue jacket and the yellow jacket. A navy blue trouser and vest suit fits to perfection. A skirt that also wouldn’t pass over the thunder thighs in September was also a tad on the large side. I’ll have to wear a belt to keep it up. And on and on….my glorious treasures, most with tags still on them, emerged from the big blue box, and almost everything I tried on fit me like a dream. Now my closet is full of new and beautiful clothes that fit me…except for some of my super fat clothes from Walmart that these days I seem to be swimming in. I popped out to the store last night, wearing my saffron linen shirt and a pair of “new” jeans…the lady at the delicatessen said to me “You look BEAUTIFUL today! So BEAUTIFUL!” and when I walked back in through the front door at home, my daughter commented that she could, at last, see how much weight I’d lost…”You really need to stop wearing those big baggy old clothes Mum…you look SO MUCH SMALLER in clothes that fit!”

One thing I noticed with a few of the clothes I had worn for a short time a decade ago, was that I am carrying my weight differently now than I was at the age of 39. More of the weight is sitting in the tummy. As the fit around the waist and hips was very nice, I can only assume that my butt and hips are now smaller than they were and my tummy is larger than it was. This is very much in line with how I’ve been seeing my weight loss. I look like I’m losing weight all over my body except my tummy, although my tummy is definitely losing in a small way (my husband says he notices my weight loss MOST in my tummy, so it’s a matter of opinion around here!).

Yesterday was a fasting day for me, and I was just starting to get to the tricky, hungry late afternoon hours when I unearthed the big blue box of treasures. I was so elated with my success that I just flew through the remainder of my fasting day. Whatever I’m doing…it’s working for me! I’ve shaved ten years off my weight. And now I’m renewed in my purpose. Now somewhere in this house is a big box of even smaller sizes of brand new clothes that I think needs to be transferred to take up the empty space in that box of treasures. Maybe next summer? Let’s see.

Mardy

If you are reading this post and wish to know more about the MROTP, then please be sure to read the MROTP rules and the instructions for Phase 1 which you will find here on this blog.
Always consult your medical practitioner before beginning any weight loss program.

© Mardy Roux 2010